Bleak

Sometimes I look in the mirror-

and I can’t recognise what I see.

Not who, but what

because that creature cannot possibly be

Human, articulate, talented, me;

Driven, intelligent, beautiful, me.

 

I used to wish that I could go back in time

Back to childhood or infancy, where everything seemed fine

Now I just wish that I could appreciate what’s mine

Now I just pray that I make it to the finish line

 

Not the one I drew up in the sand because my feet were tired

But the one drawn up for me the day my life was sired

“What are the requirements to participate in this race?” I enquired

Because to me, it seemed a beating heart is all they required

But nobody answered me- I guess I’ll find out when I retire

So I’ll go back to wishing, maybe that will re-ignite my fire

 

I wish I didn’t doubt myself, my ideas, my sanity

I wish I had as much faith in myself as everyone seems to have in me

I wish I could clearly distinguish between my thoughts and reality

I wish it didn’t take a little blue pill to restore normality

I wish death weren’t so menacing- a harsh reality

I wish life weren’t so difficult- a painful reality

I wish pain wasn’t so bitter- a difficult reality

I wish wishes could come true- a bleak impossibility.

 

 

 

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