Sometimes I look in the mirror-
and I can’t recognise what I see.
Not who, but what
because that creature cannot possibly be
Human, articulate, talented, me;
Driven, intelligent, beautiful, me.
I used to wish that I could go back in time
Back to childhood or infancy, where everything seemed fine
Now I just wish that I could appreciate what’s mine
Now I just pray that I make it to the finish line
Not the one I drew up in the sand because my feet were tired
But the one drawn up for me the day my life was sired
“What are the requirements to participate in this race?” I enquired
Because to me, it seemed a beating heart is all they required
But nobody answered me- I guess I’ll find out when I retire
So I’ll go back to wishing, maybe that will re-ignite my fire
I wish I didn’t doubt myself, my ideas, my sanity
I wish I had as much faith in myself as everyone seems to have in me
I wish I could clearly distinguish between my thoughts and reality
I wish it didn’t take a little blue pill to restore normality
I wish death weren’t so menacing- a harsh reality
I wish life weren’t so difficult- a painful reality
I wish pain wasn’t so bitter- a difficult reality
I wish wishes could come true- a bleak impossibility.